Sunday, August 15, 2010

what DID I do?



DAMN YOU DARLA!!!! STOP THIS NOW!
I am flopping on my p90x
only did 2 workouts this week :O(
kept saying I would go, was so
busy and worn out and tired from
the move but like Blake says
'excuses are like assholes,
everyone's got one and they
are all full of shit'
and speaking of Blake ...
big vent to myself.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING DARLA???
After all these months of f'd up issues
with Blake and Lisa - months of heartache
and hurt and feeling lost and angry and
sadness and frustration and guilt and worry
and every other emotion - after THERAPY and
DRUGS - after turning off my family and sisters
after f'ing up at work- here I am.
Oh yea, thank you sir for moving the piano
and waltzing right back in like nothing ever
changed and just pick back up - joke, laugh,
tease, torment - HELL NO! Am I seriously going
to play this shit? I know there is another side
to all this but I honestly have spent MONTHS
hurting because of Blake and Lisa and then suddenly
in the past 2 days Blake is right back "in our lives"
and it's like nothing ever even happened?
I do NOT get it. I tried to put up a 'wall' and
just be cordial - it was too awkward. He is too
sweet and friendly and then I felt like a guilty
bitch for being cold and rude. *I* felt guilty!!??
ME? After being dumped and ignored and shit on for
MONTHS ON END I felt guilty for just being cordial?
WTF is going on Darla? Grow a pair or seomthing already.


It is time DARLA takes care of DARLA
no more doormat and being taken adv of.
No more games. Take charge, take care of
yourself Darla - physically, mentally, emotionally.



Don't let others f with you anymore!!!!!!!



SET SOME GOALS! DO IT!

*GET ON THE p90X program NOW
* GET ON your running NOW
* WORK on your testing for work NOW
* Be the mom and wife you should be for YOU and for no one else!

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF YOUR GOALS and ACHIEVEMENTS!
NOW!

WHAT DO YOU WANT???

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