Starting weight fall/winter 2007 285 lbs - insane!





Start of my weight loss journey...

then at my best weight in spring of 2009 I was down to 2009 and feeling GREAT! and somehow from there I went downhill and up up up on the scale - I went from daily hardcore workouts - jumping out of bed in the mornings happy and ready to rock and workout to sleeping in and working 'real' jobs and it just all fell apaprt :O(




July 2010 Pre P90X workouts with my friends ...


so then the first of this year (Feb) I was determined to get it done...


and now July 2011 what have I done? I thought I'd be at the finishline and now I am starting over?



SO NOW.... I want 40lbs by my 40th bday - get down to my lowest weight 209 or less! I CAN DO IT!
I packed up my 16-`8-20 pants and skirts today and my L-XL-1X shirts - pretty sad. Pretty dang sad. :O(

soul searching...

THIS was when I felt best about myself... I dont' want to forget that feeling!!



so, today was a flop sort of day for me, I need to figure out what it is that is going on
i am pumped up about this new year and all the opportunities ahead of me, I am excited to work hard, lose weight, change my body and my life
i am motivated, i am inspired, i am wanting this like mad yet i am lacking the drive to get myself to DO it
no will power - not sure why?
i am tired of gaining and losing the same 10 lbs over and over and over
i have been fluctuating from 220 to 230 for over a year now
i want back down to 209...and less
i want to JUMP out of bed at 4 or 5 or 6 a.m. to workout and feel excited to go do it
i want to plan and eat healthier and not be tempted by junk foods and treats and waking up at 1 a.m. for sugar crap
i want to consume my water and tea and not 100 cups of coffee per day....how the hell did I start that bad habit anyway???? ugh!
i want to fit in all these cute clothes in my closet and not pour myself in them or wear the same fewe things over and over bc they fit best :O(
i want to push through walls and barriers rather than let them push me down
i want to suceed not fail = i am TIRED of failing
i want to KNOCK OUT the 1/2 marathon, and run during Dani's soccer practices and run my legs of the sawtooth relay and the rim to rim = i want to make my family proud of me, I want to be proud of me! i want to prove to blake and lisa that all my "hype" is real - I want to run 5 miles straight! i want to do the p90x and other workouts and be able to DO all the moves I want to go hiking and swimming and jogging and boating and all these things SO BAD and not be the slacker at the end....
I am tired of dissapointing others - but i am tired of dissapointing ME.
how am I going to accomplish all this?
what steps do I need to take?

water
daily schedule
meal plans
self affirmations
goals set daily

get a vision of myself completing these things in my head

stop dissapointing MYSELF
I am doing this for me
I won't dissapoint you -
Darla ... I won't dissapoint you.
I won't quit. I will do it.
I won't dissaoint you. Darla.

say it enough IT might happen, right??

I like this

OMG Darla!

REALLY did I let myself get this way?
REALLY did I go out of the house looking like this?
REALLY?


This is disgusting.
GROSS.
SICK.
What progress HAVE I made??


If this IS NOT motivation and an eye opener I do
not know what is???

two BIG things

http://www.wix.com/MADMarathon/themadmarathon

Lezhai's MAD marathon site -- freaking LOVE THIS!


and

SKINNY JEANS!
I got back into my size 20 skinny capris today!
I coudl not get in them ALL SUMMER LONG and I finallly
poured myself in them again! WOOOOOOOOOT!

Mesa Falls

Last weekend I got drug with the girls
to the Mesa Falls Run in Ashton.
Carlee, Lisa n I did the 5K - ok, LISA
did the 5K, Carlee and I puttered behind her.
I ran a little, but felt guilty leaving Carlee
and walked back to her twice and finally decided
to just walk it with her. We did 'trot' into the
finish line but it was unjustified glory to me.
Silly?
Maybe.
Next year we want to RUN the 1/2 Marathon up there
and I am feeling anxious but motivated about it.

What's going on?
I have been doing p90X on MWF with the girls
at church - getting core, arms and legs strength
trianing in. Also been doing walking and a bit of
jogging in each day. Want to kick it out at the
Rim2Rim in a couple of weeks.

Doing WW points again - Christy gave me new books
and sliders and a ton of info to motivate me. I lost
almost 3 lbs in day 1 so I think maybe THAT will
motivate me?

Sept is THE MONTH for me - heading into my 39th
bday and thinking I need to work it to the max -
set my sights HIGH and my scales LOW (he hee)

Mesa Falls Fun Run and Marathon Weekend

So, back during the Sawtooth Relay the girls made a pact
Carlee, Lisa, Maime and Chrissy
that they would all do the Mesa Falls 1/2 Marathon together


Fast forward from June to August - today was the Mesa Falls.
Chrissy was the only one doing the 1/2 - Carlee and Lisa
signed up for the 5K and Maime and her kids for the 1 mile
fun run. Last minute last night they invited me to join them
and I fell for it! LOL

So, they picked me up at 6 this morn and we headed to Ashton.
Chrissy was toted around by Jake and the kids for her 1/2 and
we caught up later.

5K
Carlee and I held back and let Lisa go for it. Carlee had a
bad cough (bronchitis?) and a pulled tooshie muscle. I ran
a few times then walked back to her and eventually we just
speed walked it through... Lisa kicked boote' and did the run
in 42 minutes! Carlee and I did it in 57 minutes. Bummerz...

We then followed Chrissy around the last half of her run and
she was amazing ... she ran the 13.5 miles in 2 hrs 7 minutes!!!
Sandy and Craig even came out to cheer her on at the finish line!

So, it was fun and we are all fired up for the Rim2Rim in a few
weeks. The others even talked about maybe coming to Carlee's for it
too! FUN STUFF!