THIS was when I felt best about myself... I dont' want to forget that feeling!!
so, today was a flop sort of day for me, I need to figure out what it is that is going on
i am pumped up about this new year and all the opportunities ahead of me, I am excited to work hard, lose weight, change my body and my life
i am motivated, i am inspired, i am wanting this like mad yet i am lacking the drive to get myself to DO it
no will power - not sure why?
i am tired of gaining and losing the same 10 lbs over and over and over
i have been fluctuating from 220 to 230 for over a year now
i want back down to 209...and less
i want to JUMP out of bed at 4 or 5 or 6 a.m. to workout and feel excited to go do it
i want to plan and eat healthier and not be tempted by junk foods and treats and waking up at 1 a.m. for sugar crap
i want to consume my water and tea and not 100 cups of coffee per day....how the hell did I start that bad habit anyway???? ugh!
i want to fit in all these cute clothes in my closet and not pour myself in them or wear the same fewe things over and over bc they fit best :O(
i want to push through walls and barriers rather than let them push me down
i want to suceed not fail = i am TIRED of failing
i want to KNOCK OUT the 1/2 marathon, and run during Dani's soccer practices and run my legs of the sawtooth relay and the rim to rim = i want to make my family proud of me, I want to be proud of me! i want to prove to blake and lisa that all my "hype" is real - I want to run 5 miles straight! i want to do the p90x and other workouts and be able to DO all the moves I want to go hiking and swimming and jogging and boating and all these things SO BAD and not be the slacker at the end....
I am tired of dissapointing others - but i am tired of dissapointing ME.
how am I going to accomplish all this?
what steps do I need to take?
water
daily schedule
meal plans
self affirmations
goals set daily
get a vision of myself completing these things in my head
stop dissapointing MYSELF
I am doing this for me
I won't dissapoint you -
Darla ... I won't dissapoint you.
I won't quit. I will do it.
I won't dissaoint you. Darla.
say it enough IT might happen, right??
