not good

not doing good
have not run AT ALL this week
have not done p90x
going to fail the weigh in big time
signed up for the MAD marathon training
with Lezhai and am afraid
weight is up
fatigue is up
energy is down
attitude is down
self image is down

just want to SCREAMMMMM

busy week!

I did REALLY well this past week!
I ran Mon and Tues,
took Wed off,
Ran Thurs and Fri,
took Sat off (aside from workingmy BUTT off
at the fundraiser)
and will do my 5 mile tomorrow!!!
Then on to next week... going to be
running a mile straight by next week!
I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!
Then in that week I'll work up to 2 miles!
Then 3
and 4
and maybe 5 or 6 or 7 even???
AmAzInG!!!

I am feeling good about where I am.
NOT feeling good about my weigh in's
but I am trying not to focus on that so much
ha, right.

ran again

Ran again this a.m. Lisa May went with me
she is training for the 5k/1/2 marathon
run up at Mesa Falls with Carlee, Chrissy,
Jake and Maime... I am not doing that.
I am working towards the 7.5 Rim2Rim
in ONE MONTH!!!!!
Anyway, Lisa and I did about 2 miles, just
an easy peasy one. I *DID* do a 1/2 mile straight
on the track at ERJHS - just gotta keep pushing myself
a little more each day!

I think that photo reminds me of what I missed out on
this summer.... but next month it will be me and my
silly sisters in the photo! Cannot wait! :O)

It was a tough one though this a.m. - I don't do as
well (mentally??) when I go with someone. Setting my
own goals and own pace is better I think. However,
I love Lisa so we'll work on it!

Sat I have my 5 miler to do - then next week is 6 miles
and then 7 every Sat up to the run day on Sept 18th!!!!

Still no P90X this week - gotta get the schedule figured up
for that one SOON!

I ran this morning

I can do this - all by myself.
ALONE is not always a bad thing.
Self reliance - it is good.

Did a loop around the neighborhood and one time around the ERJHS track...
all together about 2 miles in 35 minutes... I ran the track one time in
4 min, then another short run about 3.5 min and then one last one at
4.5 min... so basically about 3 mini 1/4 mile trots. Felt good. No aches.
Didn't push too hard. I am happy with it.
I have 34 days to train for Rim2Rim and a LOT of work to do. I am plotting
out a routine to work towards so I'll be ready!
Felt REALLLLY good to run in the old/new neighborhood again. Something
about that area drives me to go a bit more. Weird. I know.

Getting thru the Blake thing - just need to move on. He didn't do
anything wrong. Lisa has her own issues and Nari DEFINATLY has hers.
I cannot let people get into my head. This is MY life and I will
make it or break it.

P90X routine has got to get somewhere in here too... maybe just
a couple days a week? Not sure yet. Still moving n settling in
the house so I will work with it. :O)

For today : I am OK

what DID I do?

DAMN YOU DARLA!!!! STOP THIS NOW!
I am flopping on my p90x
only did 2 workouts this week :O(
kept saying I would go, was so
busy and worn out and tired from
the move but like Blake says
'excuses are like assholes,
everyone's got one and they
are all full of shit'
and speaking of Blake ...
big vent to myself.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING DARLA???
After all these months of f'd up issues
with Blake and Lisa - months of heartache
and hurt and feeling lost and angry and
sadness and frustration and guilt and worry
and every other emotion - after THERAPY and
DRUGS - after turning off my family and sisters
after f'ing up at work- here I am.
Oh yea, thank you sir for moving the piano
and waltzing right back in like nothing ever
changed and just pick back up - joke, laugh,
tease, torment - HELL NO! Am I seriously going
to play this shit? I know there is another side
to all this but I honestly have spent MONTHS
hurting because of Blake and Lisa and then suddenly
in the past 2 days Blake is right back "in our lives"
and it's like nothing ever even happened?
I do NOT get it. I tried to put up a 'wall' and
just be cordial - it was too awkward. He is too
sweet and friendly and then I felt like a guilty
bitch for being cold and rude. *I* felt guilty!!??
ME? After being dumped and ignored and shit on for
MONTHS ON END I felt guilty for just being cordial?
WTF is going on Darla? Grow a pair or seomthing already.


It is time DARLA takes care of DARLA
no more doormat and being taken adv of.
No more games. Take charge, take care of
yourself Darla - physically, mentally, emotionally.


Don't let others f with you anymore!!!!!!!



SET SOME GOALS! DO IT!

*GET ON THE p90X program NOW
* GET ON your running NOW
* WORK on your testing for work NOW
* Be the mom and wife you should be for YOU and for no one else!

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF YOUR GOALS and ACHIEVEMENTS!
NOW!

WHAT DO YOU WANT???

ouch OUCH ouch

I want to look like

THIS:


O U C H!!!!

My stomach/abs hurt so so bad!
I really pushed the ab ripper this a.m.
and i am paying for it.
I went for a short, leasurely walk
this evening and had a side cramp???
Totally know I overdid it for sure.
UGH!








but THIS:



will keep me going....

Day 2 Week 3 (minus a week)

So, I did week 1 and 2 faithfully
then I took last week off - for moving- HA
So I decided no excuses and joined back up
at week 3 again...

Today was day 2 of week 3
We did Yoga and then Ab Ripper
OMG I am dying

My stomach hurts so bad I feel like
puking - for real :O(

I *am* getting the hang of some of the moves though
which is good I hope?

we shall see...